I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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