I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
