Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
