the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
