please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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