Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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