i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
