you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
