You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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