for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
