You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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