can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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