I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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