The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
