Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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