During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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