I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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