am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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