apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
