I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
