i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
