I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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