Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
