Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
