Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
