Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
