I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize