my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
