he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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