So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
