Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
