I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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