Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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