why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
