I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
