Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
