I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
