so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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