he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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