I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I AM VODKA MAN
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
