check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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