and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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