I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize