More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
