thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize