morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
