and she was petting her beer can
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
