Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
