its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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