youre lurking in front of me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize
