For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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