I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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