Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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