If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
