just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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