just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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