The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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