Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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